Crackhead in Love
by Chaos Called Creation
Summary: [complete] This is the journal of Michael Moscovitz, set during PiL. Michael's hopelessly in love with Mia but doesn't know how to tell her. Will he ever get his true feelings out or will he keep his love for Mia a secret? Will Judith stop harassing him?
1. If It Were Up To Me

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Crackhead in Love

Chapter One: If It Were Up to Me ****

A/N: Hey! This is Christina (better known as Daylight Dancer or hopeless angel on the Rooney boards). I recently started re-reading the Princess Diaries books and remembered why I liked them so much (part of the reason is because whenever I think of Michael, I think of Robert Carmine…who is the leader singer of the LA-based band, Rooney, if you didn't know). Well, anyway, I'm a huge fan of the Mia/Michael romance and here I am, ready to share Michael's point of view throughout the popular PD book, _Princess In Love _(But, obviously, to fit his point of view, this story was titled, _Crackhead In Love_). Um, before I continue rambling any longer, here is…my story. Enjoy!

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Disclaimer: This will be the first and last disclaimer that you will find in this little story of mine. Meg Cabot owns EVERYTHING (well, I don't mean _everything _but hopefully, you know what I mean) so most characters (besides the ones that you've never read about in the PD books) belong to her as well. DON'T SUE!

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Saturday, December 6

I'm in love with my little sister's best friend. The bad things about it? For one, she's a freshman and I'm a senior, so considerable age difference there. Oh, and if I didn't mention already: she's my little sister's best friend. She probably only thinks of me as Lilly's older brother, Michael.

Oh yeah, one more thing:

SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!

OK, excessive punctuation use. But seriously though: What would Mia see in a guy like me? I am, though I don't exactly like to admit it, the epitome of a computer nerd (plus, what would the Princess of Genovia see in an extremely average guy like myself?). Though I don't believe in organized sports (I used to be on a Pee Wee hockey team…traumatizing) or organized religion, I believe in organization and have gotten straight-As through my entire sixteen years of living on this planet I like to call Earth.

Pathetic, huh?

I've been trying to tell myself that I simply can't be in love with Mia…I just _can't. _Who cares about the nice way she gets all red when she's nervous or embarrassed? Who cares about how cute she looks when she's lying and her nostrils flare out? Who _cares _about how her lips look extra nice when she laughs?

Oh yeah…_I _do.

There have been a few times when I thought she might even like me back. Or maybe I was just _really _hopeful. I even told her about how I taught myself to play the guitar. I sang her my song, "Tall Drink of Water" which was obviously about her. Well, I guess it wasn't too clear to her, seeing as how she didn't seem to take the hint.

I remember back in October when Lana Weinberger asked us both (Mia and me, that is) if we were going out. I would have very much liked to say, "Yes!" and give her (Mia) a kiss but I was fully aware how freakishly red I was. Plus, I can't really imagine having the courage to ask Mia out on a date. One of the only times I've managed to ask Mia out (even if it _was _with the Computer Club and my sister and her boyfriend) was to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show on Halloween. But look at how _that _turned out: horrible for me but great for Kenny Showalter.

Just _great._

So, this is how I was spending a perfectly good afternoon: working on the Computer Club's project for the Winter Carnival. With Judith Gershner. Who clones fruit flies. So, anyway, Judith and I were discussing the project (she's the president of the Computer Club by the way…which I am treasurer of) when we overheard (not eavesdropped on…Lilly was talking so loud) Lilly (my sister, in other words) on the phone with her boyfriend, Boris Pelkowski. 

Pathetic. Even my younger sister can get a boyfriend before I can…not that I want a _boyfriend _or anything. Boris tucks in his sweater, wears a retainer laced with food _all the time_, sticks his tongue down my sister's throat (OK, not a pleasant mental picture) and is so annoying playing his violin during G & T (Gifted and Talented) that we have to shut him inside the closet.

I'M NOT GAY!! Despite what you may be thinking right now (but, then again, you _are _a journal). But honestly, how pathetic _am _I? I spend my afternoons writing songs about Mia or hanging out with my "Computer Club buddies." Lilly's right (for once):

I need to get a life.

Well, she was talking about going to the Rockefeller Center later on when Judith started gushing about how much she absolutely _loved _ice-skating. So, taking the extremely obvious hint, Lilly stiffly asked us both if we wanted to come. Judith gave me the most pleading look so I said that we might show up later. Lilly shrugged and left Judith and me. Alone. In the kitchen.

Not to say that I'm an, um, "ladies' man" or anything, but I had a strong feeling that Judith liked me…as more than a friend (and now I'm sounding like a thirteen year old girl). She kept touching my arm and bumping her knee into mine while winking or fluttering her eyelashes. Which scared me. A lot. But, I had to work on this project with her, whether I liked it or not.

So, I was thinking about ice-skating when something popped up into my mind: Lilly had mentioned that a group of friends were going which almost definitely included Mia. That certainly brightened me up. But then I remembered someone else who was almost definitely going to be there too: Kenny.

I thought about Mia the entire time I was working on the program with Judith (who continued to flirt dramatically). I thought about how desperate I was to talk to her that I often volunteered to tutor her in algebra. I felt my heart pounding every time our knees bumped together or I lightly touched her hand when reaching for her pencil to correct something…But I can't help but feel that maybe I'm a little _too _desperate.

"So, Michael," said Judith, a flirtatious smile on her face. "Are you going to that Winter Dance?" I pondered over this for a moment. If I were to go, who would I go with? I had gone to my first dance earlier that year. I had spent my time at the Cultural Diversity Dance…slow-dancing with Mia. It had felt so good to be pressed up against her. She had smelled like baby powder and fresh shampoo, like she always did. I had been that close to her before but I had never _danced _with her. We had only danced a couple of times, seeing as I would rather lick Fat Louie than do any fast dancing. But, we had never run out of things to talk about while sitting.

"The Nondenominational Winter Dance?" I said in a nonchalant voice…Well, I was trying to sound nonchalant, at least. Why would Michael Moscovitz (namely, me) be excited over a school dance? I had almost forced myself to go to the Cultural Diversity Dance. It had been Mia's first dance at Albert Einstein and I had wanted to "share" the moment with her…even if _had _been with Josh Richter…and even though I had never been to any of my own school dances.

How overrated.

Judith nodded her head anxiously, a slightly dazed smile on her face. I opened my mouth to speak and closed it, unable to think of anything to say. Trying one more time, I said, "You know, I'm going to have to think about it. I mean, what's so great about school dances anyway?" _Dancing with Mia…_I thought. Judith looked disappointed.

"So, what about you, Judith?" I said, tapping my pencil on the table. OK, that was something I never did, mainly because it annoys me. Almost as much as people cracking their knuckles or the conformity of the teenagers of the US. 

Weird.

"Oh well, I guess I might go," Judith said, writing down something. I sure as hell hoped she wasn't writing something like "MM + JG=4Ever."

I pondered over going ice-skating a little more. I usually steered clear of tourist traps, especially around Christmas time. Anything north of Bleecker Street…I run as far away as I can. But I figured that I'd be able to see Mia again (even if Kenny _and _Judith would be there). 

I certainly didn't want to upset Judith or hurt her feelings (but, seriously, why would I go to the dance?). So, feeling slightly more sympathetic, I picked up the nearly nonexistent conversation and brought it to a halt.

"Hey Judith; it was great working with you on this project and all but how about we meet at the Rockefeller Center around seven?" Judith looked overly cheerful.

"All right, Michael…I'll meet you at the entrance," Judith said perkily and with that, she left the apartment.

Thank God.

I saved the program we were working on and began working on my online webzine, _Crackhead. _I was typing the beginning sentences of an article about unnecessary tourist traps when the phone rang. Making a quick jump for the phone, I managed to answer it before Lilly…in fact, I wasn't even sure if she was still in the apartment.

It was Mia!!

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Me: Hello?

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Mia: Oh, um, hi Michael. Can I talk to Lilly?

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Me: (heart pounding faster) Um…wait a second, Thermopolis. (covering the phone) LILLY!? Are you here!?

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Lilly: I got it, Michael. You don't need to shout all the time. I _can _hear you.

**

Mia
**: Hi Lilly…We really need to ta— ****

Lilly: MICHAEL!! GET OFF THE PHONE!!

That was all I heard before I hung up (though I was really curious as to what Mia needed to talk to Lilly about). I resisted the powerful urge to pick up the phone again and listen to Mia's voice. Running a hand through my dark hair, I closed my laptop and walked to my room. The door to my room was heavily-laden with stickers that said things like, "STAY AWAY!" or "Enter at your own risk…"

I set my laptop down on my desk and walked to my closet. Beneath a pile of clothes, I took my polished black guitar out and sat down on my bed, strumming a few chords (Thank God for the soundproof walls I got two Hanukkahs ago). I started singing my latest song, "Alter Ego." It was about this guy (um, me) who covers up his true feelings for the girl he, well, _loves. _He goes around pretending that he only sees this girl as a friend, never figuring out if she loves him back.

God, I'm pathetic.

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    A/N: 
**So…what did y'all think? Please read and review! 


	2. Let Me Get Lost

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Crackhead in Love

Chapter Two: Let Me Get Lost

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A/N: Wow, thanks for all of the positive feedback! I'm glad that you all seem to like my story and all of your comments were very sweet. Here's the latest chapter…I'll try to get the next one as soon as I can! =)

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Saturday, December 6, 11:30 p.m.

Going ice-skating was an almost complete waste of time. I wonder how Mia is doing. Her tongue was looking pretty bad. Before you get any ideas (which I doubt you can, seeing as you are a journal), I'll explain about what happened earlier tonight.

True to my word, I arrived at the Rockefeller Center about five minutes before the hour. As expected, Judith was standing at the entrance wearing dark red overalls, Rockports, and a ski parka. My eyebrows raised considerably as she waved enthusiastically to me as I approached her. I was wearing my black Converse, jeans, a plain dark blue shirt, and a black jacket. I had tried to make myself look perfectly casual as I wondered what Mia would think. Mia could wear even tattered rags and she would still make me nervous.

"Hi Michael," Judith said warmly, a broad grin on her face. I managed a small smile.

"Hey," I said simply. "Shall we?" Judith nodded and we both walked in. We paid and got our rental skates (I have never noticed before but Judith has surprisingly big feet). I felt my heart skip (yes…_skip_) when I saw Mia sitting next to Lilly, lacing up her skates. I think that she had her eyes on me for a moment but she was probably staring at Judith, wondering why she was wearing such a ridiculous outfit. But I didn't dare look back. It would've made me feel too panicky. Instead, I looked up at all of the Christmas ornaments. The brightness of all of the lights could've blinded me had I stared at them a bit longer. I glanced back at Mia and saw her talking to my sister.

"Come on, Michael. Let's look for a place to lace up our skates," said Judith, interrupting my hopefully nonchalant staring at Mia.

Yeah, like staring could ever be nonchalant. I sat down on an empty bench and watched Mia from the corner of my eye. I laced up my skates hastily and waited for Judith. After a few moments, we got off the bench and walked over to Mia and Lilly. I was happy to see that Kenny was already on the ice with Boris.

We had a small conversation before we started skating:

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Mia: Oh, hi, you guys. Michael (I _love _how she says my name), I didn't know you knew how to ice-skate.

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Me: (smiling slightly, shrugging my shoulders, and hoping I sound carefree) I used to be on a hockey team.

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Lilly: (horse-snorting) Yeah, Pee Wee Hockey. That was before he decided that team sports were a complete waste of time because the success of the team was dictated by the performance of all of the players as a whole, opposed to sports determined by individual performance such as tennis and golf.

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Me: (my smile long gone) Lilly, don't you ever shut up?

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Judith: (cheerfully, finally saying something) I love ice-skating! Although I'm not very good at it.

And Judith wasn't being modest either. She really _was _sort of bad at it. Not wanting to let her fall flat on her face, I started skating backwards while leading her around the rink. I noticed Kenny trying to imitate us and, to my great delight, Mia didn't seem to be the least bit interested. In fact, I could've sworn that Mia really _was _looking at _me _now. She probably thought Judith and I looked so stupid or maybe she thought it was my fault that Kenny was harassing her. I faced Judith, a light sigh escaping from my mouth.

"Do you think you can skate by yourself now?" I asked, a slightly bored look on my face. This made Judith squeeze my hands even tighter. I swear, if I never told her not to, she would've held onto my hands forever. 

"Oh, Michael," Judith said innocently, almost airily. "I don't think I'll be able to stay up on the ice unless you help me. I love ice-skating but like I said before, I'm not very good at it." She had a pouty look on her face. I forced a smile.

Ten minutes passed by and I noticed that Mia had finally relented. She didn't look very excited at being pulled around by Kenny though, which I beamed at.

Kenny was OK at skating forward but wasn't very good at skating backward. Then, it happened. Kenny fell down, bringing Mia down with him. It looked like she ended up hitting her chin against his knee and biting her tongue. Mia spat blood all over the ice…and Kenny's jeans (I smirked at this…I just _had _to). I quickly dragged Judith over to Mia and Kenny. The tourists behind the rails were now crowding together, taking pictures of Mia on the ice. Seeing her looking so helpless made my heart sink.

And, out of nowhere, Lars (Mia's bodyguard…yes, _bodyguard_…she is a princess after all) came skating over and have his handkerchief to Mia. I looked over at Judith, who had opened her mouth to say something.

"That looks pretty bad, Mia," Judith said, her eyes glimmering with worry. In the end, Judith would always be a caring person. "I think you might need to get stitches. It's lucky you didn't bite the tip off."

Thanks Judith, for the lovely mental picture. Mia soon left with Lars and, as Judith tried dragging me around, I was deeply reminded about how much I despised the Rockefeller Center.

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Saturday, December 7

I wonder how Mia's tongue is. I was just thinking about something as I went to sleep this morning (I can never go to sleep before 12:00 a.m.). Now that Mia has bit her tongue, I doubt she can make out (um, French kiss) Kenny…but then again, she may have not progressed that far with him (well, hopefully). 

And so, I was spending my Sunday morning in my room, as usual. After finishing up my article on tourist traps and eating a breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes and cereal, I lay on my bed, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark constellations on my ceiling (the curtains were shut so it was darker than it should have been at 10:49 in the morning).

Phantom Planet played softly as I thought about the Winter Carnival. The Computer Club had decided to design a computer game where you walk through Albert Einstein and all of the teachers are dressed in weird costumes. Judith suggested Mr. Gianni (who, by the way, is Mia's stepfather) in footie pajamas, holding a teddy bear and Reed Stratford, a sophomore, suggested Principal Gupta in a leather dominatrix outfit.

God forbid.

After laying on my bed for a few minutes, I sat up and got out my laptop. I signed on and saw that only Judith, Kenny, and Boris were on.

I really need to make more friends. Before I could put my away message on (to avoid talking to Judith, of course) who should Instant Message me but Judith Gershner? I sighed deeply as I started "chatting" with her.''

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SCINCERULZ: Hey, Michael!

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CracKing: Oh, hey, Judith.

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SCINCERULZ: Ice-skating was fun last night. We should really do it again sometime.

I scoffed at this. Ha!

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CracKing: Yeah, it was fun.

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SCINCERULZ: Too bad about Mia though.

I bit my lip as I imagined Mia sitting alone in her room, an ice-pack on her tongue. OK…weird.

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CracKing: I wonder how she's doing.

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SCINCERULZ: Yeah. Are you busy today? Because I thought that we could get together and work on the computer game for the Winter Carnival…

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CracKing: Um, I'm kind of busy today. 

Which was a total lie.

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SCINCERULZ: Oh. Okay.

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CracKing: Yeah.

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SCINCERULZ: I have to get going. Bye Michael!

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CracKing: Bye.

Judith has obviously never heard about playing hard to get.

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A/N: Please read and review! Tell me what you think! Any questions would be fine as well. =)


	3. turn smile shift repeat

_Crackhead in Love _ Chapter Three: turn smile shift repeat 

A/N: Dudes and dudettes, I'm glad y'all find this story mucho awesome. Here is the latest installment of _Crackhead In Love_. I hope you like it! =)

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Monday, December 8, Homeroom

I tend to thrive on pressure. And this time was no different. They just passed out the final exam schedules. Here is my schedule:

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FINAL EXAM SCHEDULE

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December 15

Periods Three and Four

December 16 

Reading Day

So, I'll be having English Lit and History finals on the 15th. I'm doing well in both of those subjects…and, not to boast, I'm doing very well in all of my subjects. Life isn't tough when you're a genius (that was meant to be purely sarcastic and in no way am I bragging about my intelligence…).

December 17

Periods One and Two

Chemistry and Calculus. Not too bad.

December 18 

Periods Five, Six, and Seven

Considering there's no exam for Gifted and Talented, that'll be a breeze (not meant literally). I have P.E. & Health sixth period, and that's pretty easy (I haven't been lifting weights for nothing…well, yes, actually, I have). I have French seventh period. I was considering doing Spanish when I was a freshman. The French swear words sound cooler though. Oh, I'm so evil. Yeah.

December 19

Nondenominational Winter Carnival and Dance

The Winter Carnival will be great…and just might be horrible too. I've been working on this computer program (aside from the one for the Computer Club's booth) and…I'm thinking about using it to tell Mia how I feel. I was thinking about how much she loves Beauty and the Beast (we can't all be perfect) and I thought that I would design this castle. Then, the picture would lead into the courtyard where there was a garden with roses blooming everywhere. Then, this banner would show up, looking like it was being blown by the wind. And, on that banner, I would put something like I love you, Mia or Mia, I think you're really swell. Want to go out with me? OK, I definitely wouldn't put the latter on the banner.

The carnival will be followed by the dance in the evening. And, as you might have guessed, I was hoping that Mia would want to go with me after she saw the computer program. Unless, of course, she ran out on the computer program, screaming. Then, I would most likely skip the dance.

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Monday, December 8, Chemistry

Chemistry has always been one of my favorite subjects. Along with history. And math. Today, instead of actually doing any chemistry, Mrs. Duke has been informing us about cloning and said that we might even be able to clone a fruit fly. Wow. I'm so amazed. That should be easy for Judith, considering how she won the Albert Einstein High School Annual Biomedical Technology Fair for her science project, in which she cloned a fruit fly, as mentioned on the 6th. 

Oh, I have to go. Mrs. Duke is asking people about cloning and she's almost up to me.

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Monday, December 8, French

I finally saw Mia at lunch. I was walking to the burger grill when I saw Mia at the salad bar, making some sort of pyramid with chickpeas and pinto beans. I stopped, a small smile on my face, and asked her how she was doing. She said the standard "Fine" and then she asked me how my dentist appointment went. Not exactly the conversation topic I was hoping for but I could talk to Mia about anything and not be bored. 

Anyway, I started telling her about how I had to have a cavity filled and that my lips were still numb from the Novocain (which really sucks, I must say). I figured that Mia could sort of relate, seeing as how she bit her tongue and everything. I noticed her sort of staring at my nose, or maybe it was my mouth. And then, I started feeling a little self-conscious. My voice became a bit quieter. Was there something on my nose? Hoping there wasn't, I casually wiped that area very, very quickly so it didn't look like I was picking my nose. But she continued staring.

Right then was when Kenny Showalter walked by. He was in the Computer Club, like me. But, he was also obsessed with anime. I wondered how his dates with Mia were. He always talked about anime (and had suggested making an anime computer program for the Carnival, which all of the other members of the Computer Club protested) so the conversation must've been stale.

We (Mia and I) both said "Hi" to him but he didn't say anything back. He just kept on walking, to get his usual lunch of a Coke and an ice-cream sandwich. I honestly wonder how Kenny can function on a lunch like that. Then, I realized that maybe (hopefully) Kenny thought that Mia and me were having a deep conversation and that I might even be taking Mia away from him (not to say that Mia is an object or anything…and I don't usually send out Mia-stealing vibes to him). 

Anyway, in spite of all of that, Gifted and Talented went by pretty smoothly. Mrs. Hill, the "teacher" for G&T, spent the entire class period in the teachers' lounge across the hall, yelling at American Express on the phone. This pretty much left us all to do whatever we wanted. What I wanted was to help Mia in algebra but I ended up having to work with Judith on the computer program for the booth. 

Mia was talking to Lilly about the term paper proposal that Lilly's honors English teacher had shot down. Lilly said something about how she is appalled by that fact that, considering how much the tuition costs, this is the kind of support we can expect from our teachers. Mia said something about Mr. Gianni and Lilly responded with something else about Mr. G. I didn't really catch it, seeing as how I was working. 

"Michael, don't you just love working on this computer program?" Judith whispered into my ear. "With me?" I fought the urge to shudder and, with a quick nod, I continued working. Mia's and Lilly's voices became a lot louder so I could hear every word of their conversation now:

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Lilly: The real problem with this school isn't the teachers. It's the apathy of the student body. For instance, let's say we wanted to stage a walkout.

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Mia: A walkout (Mia sounds so "cute" when she's questioning something)?

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Lilly: You know. We all get up and walk out of the school at the same time.

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Mia: Just because Mrs. Spears turned down your term paper proposal?

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Lilly: No, Mia. Because she's trying to usurp our individuality by forcing us to bend to corporate feudalism. Again. 

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Mia: And how is she doing that (I noticed, with "glee," that every sentence coming out of Mia's mouth was a question…I am so strange sometimes)?

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Lilly: By censoring us when we are most fertile, creatively speaking. 

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Boris: (his head sticking out of the supply closet…don't ask) Fertile? Did someone say _fertile_?

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Lilly: Get back in the closet, Boris. Michael, can you send a mass e-mail tonight to the entire student body, declaring a walkout tomorrow at eleven?

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Me: (looking up, an eyebrow raised) I can, but I won't.

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Lilly: (looking more like a pug than usual) WHY NOT?

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Me: Because it was your turn to empty the dishwasher last night, but you weren't home, so I had to do it.

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Lilly: But I TOLD Mom I had to go down to the studio to edit the last finishing touches on this week's show!

Oh, I guess I didn't mention this before. Lilly's TV program, _Lilly Tells It Like It Is, _is one of the highest-ranking shows on Manhattan cable. It surprises me that people would actually watch the show for more than five minutes without ripping their heads off. 

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Me: (impatiently) Look, if you're having time-management issues, don't take it out on me. Just don't expect me to meekly do your bidding, especially when you already owe me one.

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Mia: Lilly, no offense, but I don't think this week's a good time for a walkout, anyway. I mean, after all, it's almost finals.

I nearly jumped for joy. Mia was supporting me more than Lilly! And plus, she made an excellent point.

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Lilly: SO???

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Mia: So, some of us really need to stay in class. I can't afford to miss any review sessions. My grades are bad enough as it is.

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Me: (kindly) Really? I thought you were doing better in Algebra.

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Mia: If you call a D plus better.

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Michael: (in an almost joking tone) Aw, come on. You have to be making better than a D plus. Your mom is married to your Algebra teacher (hoping I didn't come as too mean)!

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Mia: So? That doesn't mean anything. You know Mr. G doesn't play favorites.

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Michael: (a bit nervously) I would think he'd cut his own stepdaughter a little slack, is all.

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Lilly: WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE SITUATION AT HAND, WHICH IS THE FACT THAT THIS SCHOOL IS IN VITAL NEED OF REFORM?

Thankfully, the bell rang right at that minute so we didn't need to hear anymore about how the school was substandard or anything. I closed my laptop and, with one last quick glance at Mia, walked out of the classroom.


	4. Always On My Mind

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Chapter Four: Always On My Mind

A/N: I've noticed the lack of reviews for my last chapter (I think I got only three or four)…Please feel free to compliment, comment, or use some constructive criticism (but, please, no flames). Thanks, and enjoy this chapter! =)

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Tuesday, December 9, Calculus

Holy sh…

Wow. Woah. Wow.

Did he say what I think he…

No, he couldn't have…

Yes, yes, he did. He said, no, _yelled_ that he…that he…

Loved her? _Loved_ her?

Loved _her_? Mia? _Mia_?

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My Mia?

I did not just think that. 

I was walking out of Chemistry when I saw Mia. With Kenny. And a gaggle of freshman. Mia looked about ready to walk away with Shameeka Taylor and Lilly when he…he said it. 

"I don't care if you don't feel like the same way, Mia, I will always love you!"

Most of my classmates burst out laughing. But I didn't. I simply stood there. I didn't care if my mouth was gaping open (I'm pretty sure it wasn't) or I just looked shocked. But he…he…Wow. Mia looked like she was about ready to crawl into a corner and die, she was that red. I felt sort of relieved. Mia didn't seem too ecstatic at Kenny Showalter, obsessed anime fan, being in love with her.

Mia just stared at Kenny and he looked right back at her, waiting for an answer. I got dragged away by one of my friends, Felix and Judith. That was a bit of a relief, seeing as I felt my insides squirming at the scene that had just taken place. 

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Tuesday, December 9, P.E. and Health

Gifted and Talented wasn't so great today. Judith usually has plain study hall fifth period but instead of staying with the monotonous Mr. Kellen, she decided to come to the G&T classroom so we could work on our booth. I got enough of that already…Gifted and Talented was one of my few classes without Judith and that's why I always looked forward to them. Oh, and the prospect of being able to stare at Mia for a full fifty minutes. OK, that sounded stalker-ish. Anyway, I was sitting at a table with Judith, who had draped her arm across the back of my chair.

It sucks, really…having to work on the computer program instead of helping Mia with her Algebra homework. I'd rather help Mia with evaluating and multiplying exponents than designing Principal Gupta in a dominatrix outfit with Judith any day.

Taking a small break from working, Judith decided to listen into Mia's conversation with Lilly. She overheard Lilly apologizing about not believing some weird phone call or something. Judith decided to comment about Kenny's sudden outburst of affection for Mia.

"Poor kid," Judith said. "I heard what he said to you in the hallway. I was in the chem lab. What was it again? 'I don't care if you don't feel the same way, I will always love you,' or something like that?"

I could've sworn that for a fraction of a second, Mia looked like she very much would've liked to stab the pencil she was holding into Judith's head. I didn't blame her.

"It's really sweet," Judith continued, probably not noticing the pencil-stabbing look on Mia's beautiful face. "If you think about it. I mean, this guy's clearly got it bad for you."

"He's obviously very in touch with his emotions," Lilly said. I almost laughed at this. "Unlike some people." I noticed that she looked right at Mia as she said this. Deciding to defend Mia, also because she didn't look like was going to speak up anytime soon, I said:

"Just because Mia doesn't go around shouting about how she feels in the third floor hallway doesn't mean she's not in touch with her emotions." A slight smile appeared on her face. Score one for me! Ha.

"Yeah," Mia said, gaining some confidence. 

"Well, you could have said something back to him," Lilly said, sounding disgruntled. "Instead of just leaving him hanging there." I watched, partly in amusement, as Mia and Lilly argued about the matter at hand. Mia wrote up some list of guys she could see herself spending an eternity with him. Though I knew that Mia didn't include me on that list, I listened "nonchalantly" to their conversation while discussing different costumes for the teachers in our computer program with Judith.

**__**

Tuesday, December 9, 8:43 p.m.

I think that Lilly has officially gone insane. Somehow, and I don't even want to know how, Lilly sent a mass e-mail to every member of the student body at AEHS. 

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS AT

ALBERT EINSTEIN HIGH SCHOOL

Stressed from too many exams, term papers, and final projects? Don't just passively accept the objective workload handed down to us by the tyrannical administration! A silent walkout had been scheduled for tomorrow. At 10 A.M. exactly, join your fellow students in showing our teachers how we feel about inflexible exam schedules, repressive censorship, and having only one reading day on which to prepare for our finals. Leave your pencils, leave your books, and gather on East 75th Street between Madison and Park (use doors by main administration offices, if possible) for a rally against Principal Gupta and the trustees! Let your voice be heard!

Like I would really participate in Lilly's walkout. And during chemistry too!

My heart skipped when I saw that Mia was online. After a minute of contemplating whether I should Instant Message her or not, I got the courage to do it.

****

CracKing: Did you just get that whacked-out mass e-mail from my sister?

****

FtLouie: Yes.

****

CracKing: You're not going along with her stupid walkout, are you?

****

FtLouie: Oh, right. She wouldn't be too mad if I don't, or anything.

I thought about what to respond with. I started typing almost immediately.

****

CracKing: You don't need to do everything she says, you know, Mia. I mean, you've stood up to her before. Why not now?

****

FtLouie: I find that the path of least resistance if often the safest one when dealing with your sister.

****

CracKing: Well, I'm not doing it. Walking out, I mean.

****

FtLouie: It's different for you. You're her brother. She has to remain on speaking terms with you. You live together.

I paused before replying.

****

CracKing: Not for much longer. Thank God.

Columbia was going to be so great. I'd be away from Lilly…but away from Mia too. 

****

FtLouie: That's right. You got accepted to Columbia. Early decision, too. I never did congratulate you. So congratulations.

****

CracKing: Thanks.

****

FtLouie: You must be happy that you'll know at least one other person there. Judith Gershner, I mean.

Damn, I had almost forgotten. Judith had been accepted to Columbia, early decision, as well. 

It's now or never, Michael, I thought to myself before typing in what I did next.

****

CracKing: Yeah, I guess so. Listen, you're still going to be in town for the Winter Carnival, right? I mean, you're not leaving for Genovia before the 19th are you?

There was a considerably long pause, on her part.

****

FtLouie: I'm leaving for Genovia on the 20th. 

****

CracKing: Oh, good. Because you should really stop by the Computer Club's booth at the carnival, and check out this program I've been working on. I think you'll like it.

Wow, that was incredibly bold of me. 

****

FtLouie: Can't wait. Well, I have to go. Bye.

And then, she signed off. Great going, Moscovitz. You probably scared her off.

Sometimes I think I must be the stupidest person in the world.

But then I remember Kenny and I feel OK again.

**__**

Tuesday, December 9, 9:50 p.m.

As I sit here, my guitar in my lap, I wonder if this will all work out. I mean, the whole telling-Mia-that-I-love-her thing. There's a strong doubt in my mind that she will turn me down, saying how madly in love with Kenny she is. Running my fingers along the guitar strings, I began playing "Tall Drink of Water."

__

Don't you know that I'm in love with you?

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A/N: Please review! =D


	5. The Center of the World

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Chapter Five: The Center of the World

A/N: Thanks everyone, for your reviews! It's great to see how positive your comments are and I hope you like this chapter! =D

*** 

**__**

Wednesday, December 10, History

Someone sent me a love letter today.

Well, more like a love poem but same thing.

Who would send _me _a love letter…poem?

Michael Moscovitz, receiving a love poem from a girl.

Or, it could possibly be a guy. But, I'd rather not think about some guy being in love with me.

So, the real question is: Who is it? Who put this poem in my locker?

It's a simple poem, really. Not too well-written either, if I do say so myself.

Roses are Red __

Violets are Blue

You may not know it

But someone loves you.

Well, someone loves me. I didn't recognize the handwriting and, for a fraction of a second before really inspecting the writing, I thought it might even be…No, it would never be Mia. 

And so, I was opening my locker before World History when I saw this card, a picture of a strawberry dripping with chocolate on the outside. My eyebrows raised as I opened the card and read the short, but informative, poem.

This is just too weird.

**__**

Wednesday, December 10, Chemistry, 9:45 a.m.

Am I going to take part in the walkout?

Of course not. 

"Hey, Michael," hissed Paul, one of my friends from the Computer Club. He was also my chem partner (quite luckily, I had gotten Paul to be my partner before Judith could ask me). I turned my head to see what he wanted. "Are you going to walk out with your sister?" I nearly scoffed but instead shook my head and resumed working.

**__**

Wednesday, December 10, English Lit 

Is it a coincidence that a fire drill was scheduled at the exact time that Lilly was planning to walk out?

You know, it really sucks standing in the middle of the street, the wind blowing hard, wearing no jacket, and rain pouring down. I noticed Mia sitting under some scaffolding, writing in a book. A journal, maybe. Yet another thing we have in common: we both have journals. I wonder what she writes about?

Her evil grandmother, the dowager princess? Lilly's weird ways? Mr. G and her mom…Me?

Yeah, I wish. Plus, if she _does _write about me, it's probably something like, '_I can't believe how unbelievably nerdy Michael is. I mean, it's so obvious he's in love with me that it's pathetic.'_

Aren't we the optimistic one?

English class at AEHS should be renamed Literature. Seriously. All we ever do is read books, discuss them a bit, and write papers. Kind of like those book reports you do in elementary school. Except for the fact that my class is made up of seniors. Very immature seniors, at that.

"Now, everyone, what were your favorite books as children?" asked Mrs. Castelli (who insists on being called Sharon). She is considered by everyone to be the weirdest teacher at AEHS. She is a free spirit and often plays Indian music while the class reads. Some guy from my math class raised his hand along with Judith, Trevor (who's this guy from the marching band), and Gwen (who happens to be a cheerleader and is one of Josh Richter's ex-girlfriends…what senior female isn't? That's why he moved on to freshmen, after all).

"Yes, Gwen?" Sharon said airily, a dreamy smile on her face.

"Well, like, um, I always thought _Sleeping Beauty_ was, like, good," Gwen said, saying "like" incessantly. "Because, like, she's pretty and she gets the hot Prince Charming guy at the end." 

"_Erm_, thankyou, Gwen, for that interesting assessment," Sharon said, looking how I felt: confused. "And Trevor?"

"_The Hatchet_ was always cool, I thought," Trevor said.

"Care to elaborate, Trevor?" Sharon asked, her bulbous eyes widening.

"Um, no."

"Judith, how about you? Please enlighten us."

"I always used to read _Little Women_ a lot. I always found myself being most like Jo. She was so strong-willed and determined and wasn't so…girly. I used to be a tomboy back when I was six," Judith said freely, smiling.

"You read _Little Women _when you were _six_?" said Faye Donough. 

"No…of course not. I read it when I was _four_," Judith said, a small smirk on her face. I scoffed loudly at this and Judith proceeded to give me what she probably considers a 'sexy' smile. I turned away, my eyes rolling.

Kill me now.

**__**

Wednesday, December 10, French

Why must I continue to be tortured in G & T?

First, Judith comes to every class so we can "work on the computer program." And now, Mrs. Hill had the supply closest door taken off so we couldn't lock Boris in there anymore. Now we are forced to listen to him play his horrendous music. Not to say that he's bad or anything. On the contrary, he has even played at Carnegie Hall numerous times. But he really needs to choose better songs to play.

I need to stop working. Instead of riding in Mia's limo every morning with her, Lily, and Lars, I now take the subway to school early every morning just to work on the computer program for the Winter Carnival. Thank God that Judith never comes with me. 

Oh, I have to go. Ms. McGully is having a fit over something.

Pork buns?

*** 

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A/N: Sorry that this chapter is shorter than the others ones. I really just want to get on to the next chapter and I promise that it'll be longer than this one. Please review! =)


	6. Bow Down Daisy Duke

**__**

Crackhead in Love

Chapter Six: Bow Down Daisy Duke

A/N: Thank you so much for all of your reviews!! I've had some sort of inspiration so expect chapters to be out faster! =D

Disclaimer: OK, so there _is _another disclaimer in this story. But, usually, the songs mentioned will be followed by their artists. Once again, DON'T SUE!

*** 

**__**

Thursday, December 11, 6 p.m.

Today was an extremely weird day.

I was at my locker, once again, before fourth period when I saw another card tucked into my locker. This time, a picture of a woman, holding her finger to her lips, was on the outside. The inside of the card read:

Shhhh… 

Roses are red

But cherries are redder

Maybe she can clone fruit flies

But I like you better.

But, it just so happens that I got out of English early and saw the perpetrator. And it was some girl, besides Mia, who has a bodyguard. Her name's Tina Hakim Baba or something. But, I think she already has a boyfriend. I don't even _know _her!! No wonder why I didn't recognize the handwriting. And I can't believe that I thought for even a split _second_ that Mia had possibly written them.

I am officially freaked out. Well, at least the cards weren't, which I was dreading, coming from Judith Gershner. Almost everyone had heard about her cloning those fruit flies in her bedroom. Honestly, that's what she does for fun. Clones fruit flies in the privacy of her own home. 

Now what should I do?

**__**

Thursday, December 11, 6:45 p.m.

HOLY SHIT!

No…it can't be…I…I…wow. _WOW_. 

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!

I was in the TV room, flipping through the channels. I was, of course, not paying any real attention because I was wondering why Tina had left those cards in my locker. That was when Lilly happened to barge in, a sort of superior look on her face. My nose wrinkled up as I saw her and she sat down in one of the armchairs. There was a moment's silence but it was soon broken when she spoke.

"Have you been getting any…_cards_ lately?" Lilly said, a hint of a smirk on her face. I raised an eyebrow, slowly nodding my head.

"That Tina girl…I saw her putting one of them in my locker," I said, pausing. "She's one of your friends, isn't she?" Lilly looked like she was about to die of laughter.

"You think that…that _Tina _likes you?!" Lilly said, howling with laughter. I didn't find it that humorous, myself.

"Well…I _did _see her put tha—"

"_Mia!'_" Lilly exclaimed, her eyes wide and bulbous.

"What? Mia?" I said, confused. I looked around, wondering if Mia was behind me or something but no one was there.

"_Mia _has been the one writing those cards." My eyes widened so much that I wouldn't have been surprised if they were to have popped out of my head in shock.

"_What??_" I nearly yelled, my eyes still big.

"Tina told me yesterday after you got the first card," Lilly said, sounding remarkably calm. "She told me how Mia…well, how Mia _loves _you…"

"You're kidding," I said in disbelief. 

"And from what I know, and I must say, it's pretty obvious…you love her too."

What was this world _coming _to? First, Lilly seems to be acting all nice and helping…and now…now…

MIA LOVES _ME!!_

I swear, I could fling myself off the Warner Bros. Tower and be happy, just knowing how Mia feels about me.

Mia loves me. _Mia_ loves _me._

Me. _Me._

Mia loves me…

And I love her.

**__**

Thursday, December 11, 8:00 p.m.

I'm still in pure shock. Seriously.

But now there's a doubt in my mind that maybe Lilly was lying just to torture me.

But she wouldn't be that cruel, would she?

I'm not even going to answer that question.

So, more about that weird day that I had today.

First, there was no World History. We had an assembly instead. Concerning the person who pulled the fire alarm yesterday. Maybe someone was in protest of the protest…namely, in protest against Lilly's protest against AEHS.

Whoever did it, I applaud them. 

Also, right after the assembly, Judith caught up with me as I was walking to G & T. And guess what she said:

"Michael, I'm sorry. I know what we had was special but…well, I met someone else. This guy who goes to Trinity. I mean, you're great and everything but there's something about Thomas. I hope we can still be friends."

LIKE WE WERE EVER ANYTHING MORE THAN COMPUTER CLUB MEMBERS TOGETHER!!!!!!!

I just sort of nodded my head and she walked away dramatically. I'm actually sort of relieved, now that I think about it. Now, I won't have Judith hanging onto me like a leech all of the time.

Then I decided to skip G & T all together. Not because Judith probably wasn't going to be there or anything.

Instead, I headed for the boys' bathroom. Laptop with wireless internet connection in hand. 

OK, it was more of a last resort. I just couldn't stand Boris playing his violin anymore. So, instead of torturing myself, I just stayed in the boys' bathroom the whole fifth period. I regretted not being able to see Mia though. 

I wish I could get the courage to tell her that I love her. And maybe she would fling her arms around me and say passionately, "And I love you, Michael!" A boy can dream.

**__**

Friday, December 12, 4 p.m., the apartment

Mia was suspended during homeroom today.

Apparently, and it's been floating around school, she got mad at Lana Weinberger and smashed Lana's cell phone with her foot. 

That's my girl!

Um, well, not _my _girl but…why am I trying to explain things to a journal?

I got another card from Mia today. I was in a big hurry though and really quickly put it into my backpack. It's now sort of bent because of my iMac. I wish I could've kept it nice but I really was in a big hurry. I had only about a half-minute to get to French. 

Anyway, I sent Mia an encouraging e-mail and waited for her to come on.

**__**

Friday, December 12, 8 p.m., my room

I think I'm going to start a band. But who would the members be? I already have a collection of songs written and, thinking about the future, decided what songs I might want cover. Among them include "Daisy Duke" by Rooney, "Somebody's Baby" which was covered by Phantom Planet, "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" by The Ramones, and "Creep" by Radiohead. Sounds like a good set. I started singing "Daisy Duke."

I want to know all there's to know about you __

I want you to know nothing about me

Although I'll give you a taste

And when you think that you know me

I'll blow you away

So baby, bow down Daisy Du—

Mia logged on!!

****

CracKing: Hey, Thermopolis, what's this I hear about you getting suspended?

Casual, not rude. Good.

****

FtLouie: Just for one day.

****

CracKing: What'd you do?

****

FtLouie: Crushed a cheerleader's cell phone.

****

CracKing: Your parents must be so proud. 

****

FtLouie: If so, they've done a good job of disgusing it so far.

****

CracKing: So are you grounded?

****

FtLouie: Surprisingly, no. The attack on the cell phone was provoked.

I breathed deeply, wondering if I should ask again.

****

CracKing: So you'll still be going to the Carnival next week?

****

FtLouie: As secretary to the Students Against the Corporatization of Albert Einsten High School, I believe my attendance is required. Your sister is planning for us to have a booth.

I laughed at this.

****

CracKing: That's Lilly. She's always looking out for the good of mankind.

****

FtLouie: That's one way of putting it.

And then, she said she had to go and logged off.

**__**

Friday, December 12, 8:45 p.m.

I just realized that the exams are three days away.

And I haven't studied.

Aw, crap.

**__**

Friday, December 12, 9:15 p.m.

Instead of studying like I should be doing, I wrote a poem that I have decided to include in my computer program:

Roses are red __

Violets are blue

You may not know it

But I love you, too.

And I do. I really do.

*** 

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A/N: PLEASE REVIEW AND MAKE ME HAPPY!! =)

**__**


	7. Date With the Night

**__**

Crackhead in Love

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Chapter Seven: Date With the Night

A/N: Wow. Thank you all _so much _for all of your reviews. You've made me _REALLY _happy! THANKS AGAIN!

Oh, by the way, the next two chapters will be the last ones and then, this story will be finished. =)

*** 

**__**

Saturday, December 13, 4:30 p.m.

A supplement was featured in the _Sunday Times_ today.

And not just any supplement:

A SUPPLEMENT INCLUDING MIA!!!!!!

Seriously. She was in the newspaper, seeming to be modeling off these dresses. 

I was at school for the afternoon, working even more on the computer program with the rest of the Computer Club (excluding Judith) when Judith walked in twenty minutes late and slammed the latest issue down in front of me.

"What?" I said, bemused. I looked down and saw Mia gracing the pages. My jaw must've dropped because Judith said:

"Well, it's not _that _surprising, Michael. I mean, she _is _a princess, after all. Isn't that what they do? Endorse things?" I looked at her like she was crazy.

"That's not like Mia," I said defensively. "At all. She is definitely not the type to go off and model someone's clothes."

"Well," Judith said, her nose wrinkled. She didn't seem too happy at me acting so hostile toward her. "I guess she is. It's right before your eyes."

I ignored her for the next hour until we all left.

The computer program is just about done. All of our working has definitely paid off.

My own private computer program for Mia is almost done as well. I just need to add a few minor details and it'll be finished. I wonder what she'll do…what she'll say…

When I came home, Lilly greeted me with the news (well, it wasn't really news anymore, seeing as I had seen it hours earlier).

"Yeah, I saw it," I said.

"Mia modeling…Never thought I'd see the day," Lilly said, proceeding to tell me about Mia's reaction.

Is it just me or has Lilly been acting _nice _lately?

**__**

Saturday, December 13, 6 p.m.

I sent Mia four e-mails, three of them including jokes and the one asking her about the supplement, wondering if she was thinking about abdicating. Ha ha.

I've been studying for my finals for the last ninety minutes. Isn't it convenient that Reading Day is on the _second _day of finals (sarcasm)? I don't suppose the finals will be too difficult. Not to brag, but I've passed with flying colors the previous three years here at AEHS.

**__**

Saturday, December 13, 8 p.m., the park

You know, it's not really the safest thing, being out in New York when it's dark out. But I've lived here my whole life and I have yet to be kidnapped so I guess that it isn't so dangerous. It's nice getting out of the apartment and just having a walk. It can really clear your thoughts…

Well, forget that part actually. I can't stop thinking about the Winter Carnival. How will Mia react to my computer program? What will she say? "I love you too, Michael," or "Oh…my…god. Ew…"

I realized I had a crush on Mia when I was a freshman. She was a sixth grader. Yeah, good going, Moscovitz. You're an obsessed stalker _and _a pedophile. It was never a particularly big crush though. But I found, during sophomore year, that my crush on her had grown bigger. Before Mia, I had had a crush on Samantha Baker. I had thought that she might like me back until she showed up at school one day, hand in hand with Josh Richter. 

No wonder why I've always hated Josh.

Anyway, I was going to the movie theater and dinner with Lilly, Mia, and Felix (Lilly and Mia needed a ride, seeing as they were bored and it was raining really hard outside). I managed to sit next to Mia during the movie. Lilly didn't look too content at being stuck with Felix but he didn't seem to mind too much. It was a comedy…Mia makes this _really _cute face when she laughs. I kept looking at her to see if she was laughing at the parts I found funny too. 

And she was. 

My crush just sort of progressed from there and, last year, I realized that I had fallen madly in love with Mia.

Wow, how cliché does that sound? 

It's getting colder by the second. I had better get back to the apartment.

**__**

Sunday, December 14, 11:50 a.m.

Lilly is at Mia's house to study. Boris just called and I guess he's going over to her loft too. I wish _I _could go. Why did God have to make me so old? Or, rather, older than Mia.

How did I fall in love with Mia? My younger sister's best friend? Honestly, how could I _not_? Mia's just…words can't explain it. She's so nice and sweet and so beautiful. Though she may have a lack of assertiveness, she's still such a great person to talk to, to be around.

No wonder why I love her.

Exams start tomorrow. I think I'll do well. People usually get so worked up about the finals but, really, it's no big deal. Especially since I already got excepted to Columbia, which was my first-choice college. 

The Secret Snowflake exchange starts tomorrow. You're supposed to leave little gifts for your Snowflake and then, on the last day (which happens to be the day of the Winter Carnival and the Nondenominational Winter Dance), you have to get your Snowflake a big gift and reveal that you're their sender Snowflake person. Judith tried to get me to sign up but in the end, she gave up and huffily signed up herself.

**__**

Sunday, December 14, 12:20 p.m.

Paul just called me.

****

Me: Hello? 

****

Paul: Hey, Michael. Did you see that supplement in the Su—

****

Me: (interrupting him) Yes.

****

Paul: Dude, Mia totally sold out.

****

Me: No, she didn't.

****

Paul: Then maybe you didn't see the same supplement as _I _did. 

****

Me: Well, Lilly told me that Mia didn't know she was being photographed and the Sebastiano guy gave the pictures to the _Times. _

****

Paul: Yeah sure…she sol—

****

Me: (interrupting again) Bye, Paul.

And I hung up.

I hope that Mia doesn't believe that she "sold out." Because she didn't.

Damn Sebastiano.

**__**

Sunday, December 14, 3 p.m.

I just thought something.

Maybe Lilly was lying to me about Mia loving me and she wants to see me be humiliated in front of the entire AEHS student body. And maybe, probably, Kenny already asked Mia to the dance and she accepted. Because she loves him, not me. Why would she love _me _anyway? 

I need to stop being so pessimistic. 

*** 

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A/N: So, please comment. Thanks for all of the positive feedback!

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	8. Finally Filled with Doubt

**__**

Crackhead In Love

Chapter Eight: Finally Filled with Doubt 

A/N: Thanks for your reviews!

*** 
**__**

Monday, December 15, Homeroom

I told Mia that her combat boot had come untied.

That was all I said to her today. 

The English final is in twenty minutes. Knowing Mrs. Castelli—er, _Sharon_—the exam will be fairly easy. Then, the World History Final is ninety minutes after that. At last, they're letting us have time to study and eat. I guess.

What do I need to remember? 

J.M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan, was a pedophile. 

I loved _Peter Pan _as a child, too. 

**__**

Monday, December 15, Lunch

"Michael? Is that a _diary?_"

That's what Suzanne Chang asked me just a few minutes ago. 

"Um, no. It's a journal."

Big difference. I remember thinking that writing in a journal would be such a burden but, now that I think about it, I've haven't stopped writing in this journal ever since I got it, which was at the end of last summer.

Mia, of course, is leaving for Genovia the day after the Nondenominational Winter Dance. Which means that the night of the dance is the only chance I have to tell Mia how I feel about her before she is gone for the entire winter break.

That thought is making me feel even _more _nervous about the computer program. I finished last night and it's looking pretty good. I kind of like it. I hope Mia does too.

**__**

Tuesday, December 16

I think that the English and World History finals went well.

Chemistry and calculus finals tomorrow. Thankfully, today is a Reading Day.

Yeah, like I would spend my day reading.

People have been telling Mia how she sold out.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

**__**

Wednesday, December 17, Library

The chemistry final went by smoothly. Three more to go.

I swear, some people have been hyperventilating in the halls.

**__**

Thursday, December 18

THEY'RE FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!

The finals are finally done with. Now, people can stop stressing and everything will be back to normal.

Except for the fact that we won't be getting our results until tomorrow.

Okay, on come the stressed out, hyperventilating students…

**__**

Thursday, December 18, 7 p.m.

I think I totally underestimated Mia.

In response to everyone thinking she's a sell-out, Mia had her own press conference.

And she told everyone that the proceeds from the dresses will be donated to Greenpeace.

She's back to her normal save-the-whales self.

God, I love her so much.

**__**

Thursday, December 18, 8 p.m.

Lilly knocked on me door and we actually had a conversation.

Wow.

"Michael, you are going to tell Mia you love her, right?" Lilly said, her eyes shining beadily.

"Um," I said, wondering if I should tell her about the computer program I had designed to tell Mia that I'm in love with her. "Yes."

"When??" Lilly said, her eyes widening. "She _is _leaving for Genovia the day after tomorrow, you know."

"I knew that."

"Then what are you going to _do_?" Lilly asked impatiently. OK, not really a conversation so much as an interrogation.

"Lilly, it's not as easy as pulling aside some person and saying, 'Hey, I love you.' You need to ease into it," I said.

"YOU'VE ONLY BEEN EASING INTO IT FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS!"

"W-what?"

"Michael, it's been obvious for the last _two years _that you've liked Mia! Get it through your thick skull," Lilly said, almost angrily. "She's loved you ever since she _met _you! Well, except for those two weeks when she thought she loved Josh Richter but she still _liked_ you_._" 

I sort of stared at Lilly in disbelief.

"I-I…I made this computer program for her…To, um…tell her how I feel," I said, feeling oddly nervous. "But what if she runs away screaming?" I added coolly.

"Have you not been _listening _to me for the last five minutes?! Of course she loves you!"

I figured that this would be a good time to interrogate her as well.

"Then why is she going out with _Kenny_? If she really loved me, wouldn't she stay single so I would know how she 'loves' me?" Lilly looked right about ready to stab my head with a nice, long knife.

"Because she was too nice and sweet to turn him down," Lilly said, cooling down a bit. "Duh."

Well, I had figured that out of course.

Well, no, not really.

"Doesn't it make sense to you yet, Michael?" Lilly said. "Didn't you wonder _why _Mia didn't kiss Kenny back?"

Because he had really bad breath? Ha.

  
"Well, yes," I said, my eyebrows raised.

"Anyway, Tina just called and said that Mia is going to confess her feelings for you tomorrow."

"Really?" I said, trying to get over the initial shock of the conversation.

"Yes, really."

I still have my doubts.

*** 

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A/N: Please review.


	9. All is Full of Love

**__**

Crackhead in Love

Chapter Nine: All Is Full of Love 

A/N: Um, wow. That's all I can really say about the extreme lack of reviews. But here's the last chapter to _Crackhead in Love _anyway! =D

*** 

**__**

Friday, December 19, before the Winter Carnival

Oh, God.

The Winter Carnival starts in approximately ten minutes.

Today, so far, has gone by smoothly.

Mia hugged me. Yes, she _hugged _me.

Hugged _me._

I was walking to her locker, as the results of the finals had been posted. I had done well on all of them.

I was, of course, wondering what she had gotten on her Algebra final, if the many hours of tutoring her on her Algebra homework (not that I minded) had paid off. That's when I saw a yellow rose fall out of her locker. Curious as to who sent her it, I picked it up and there was a little card on it. I didn't read it though.

That would've been invading her privacy.

Yellow means love everlasting. I thought that it probably was from Kenny.

And so, I stood there, waiting for Mia, the yellow rose in my hand. 

Then, I saw Mia. And my heart started pounding considerably harder. 

She saw me and her eyes widened. Was she surprised to see me?

"Here. This just fell out of your locker," I said, handing her the rose. She just sort of stared at the rose and up at me.

"Well? What's the verdict?" I said, hoping to pick things up. She just stared at me blankly.

I started feeling extremely self-conscious again.

"What did you get in Algebra?" I said slowly. She looked down at her computer printout, which listed her grades. I waited patiently. Er, well, as patiently as I could.

The biggest grin appeared on Mia's face and that's when she threw her arms around me.

Her hair smelled _really _good. 

Oh, God. I'm talking about how her _hair _smells now.

"Wheeeeeee!!!!!" Mia exclaimed. I was a bit startled but I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist. 

Wow, I wished that moment would never end.

Hugging Mia felt so…well, so _right._

Too bad that it did end.

**__**

Friday, December 19, outside of the Winter Carnival

Mia hates me.

No, she _despises _me. 

Not only does she not love me, she probably hates me more than anyone, _anything_, right now.

When the Winter Carnival started, everything was going well. Actually, more than well.

Everyone _loved _the Computer Club's computer program. And I mean _loved._

Everyone was having fits of laughter over it. That made me feel pretty good.

That feeling is _long _gone.

I was standing next to one of the computers when I saw Mia with that Tina girl.

"Come on up!" I exclaimed, and they did, which caused a loud stir of groans and grumbling.

I was thinking, _It's now or never, Moscovitz. _

"Here, Mia, sit at this one," I said, pulling out a chair in front of the computer monitor which, of course, my computer program for her was on.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Judith asked. I shrugged it off.

"No, that's okay. I have a special one for her."

A _really _special one.

As she was sitting, I sort of watched her head. The screen flickered, the program not having started yet.

I sort of thought that maybe, just _maybe, _Mia would tell me that she loved me after seeing the program.

And then we would possibly kiss.

Wow, I was being really hopeful. 

The screen flickered again and, my heart pounding furiously, the castle finally appeared.

I felt like passing out…

Mia sat there, staring at the screen. She obviously, _hopefully, _liked it. Or so I thought.

Then, a banner waved across the screen. And written in gold leaf was my poem:

Roses are red __

Violets are blue

You may now know it

But I love you, too

She screamed and jumped, knocking her chair over behind her. Everyone started laughing.

But I didn't. My face had grown terribly pale (even more than usual), I was afraid.

She grabbed Tina's arm, tears running down her eyes, and made her way past the crowd. I watched her walking away…away from me…

"Mia!" I called. 

Then, I saw Kenny grab Mia's arm. Tina walked away and, my heart sinking, I saw them talk.

Probably about the dance. And how much they liked each other.

How could I have been so _stupid_?!

I actually thought that Mia might like me!

But no, she runs off crying, like I had imagined.

Only it felt a hundred times worse when it actually happened, instead of just thinking about it.

I watched as they talked and with all of the force I could, looked away. 

"I'm going to go," I mumbled to Judith and ran outside, where I am right now.

I hate my life.

**__**

Friday, December 19, the apartment, **5 p.m.**

I've called Mia four times.

But she hasn't been picking up.

I don't blame her.

I'd hate me too.

**__**

Saturday, December 20

All I ever wanted was to fall in love and be loved back.

That may sound odd coming from a seventeen—almost eighteen—year old guy but it's true.

And, last night, the second part of that dream actually came true.

I was sitting in my room, staring up at the Andromeda on my ceiling when the phone rang.

I, of course, dove for the phone, hoping it might be Mia.

Maybe you can imagine my disappointment when it was Lilly.

But, then maybe you can imagine my pure joy that Lilly wanted to tell me that Mia had come to the dance. 

And that she had broken up with Kenny.

I changed into my penguin suit as fast as I could, not having much time.

Then, I literally ran to AEHS, which is a few blocks away from the apartment.

I ran into the dance and saw Mia's head. Lars looked like he was about to get up when he saw me.

I was completely out of breath, snow was covering my hair, and my bow tie was…untied.

Mia turned around and looked completely shocked.

Repulsed, I thought.

"I didn't think you were coming," I said. Her face was now bright red.

"Well, I almost didn't."

"I called you a bunch of times, only you wouldn't come to the phone," I said, breathing deeply.

"I know," Mia said in her sweet, wonderful, light, _beautiful_ voice.

"Mia," I said, looking right into her amazing gray eyes. "With that thing today. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"It didn't. I mean, it wasn't that. It was something Kenny said."

"Yeah, well, I heard you two broke up," I said. She didn't say anything.

"The thing is," I went on. "I knew it was you. Who was leaving those cards."

"You did?" Mia asked, her voice quivering. Tears slowly built up in her eyes. I felt my insides squirming.

I couldn't bear to watch her cry.

"Of course I did," I said, slightly impatiently. "Lilly told me."

"_Lilly _told you? How did _she _know?"

"I don't know. Your friend Tina told her, I guess. But that's not important." She looked around the gym, her eyes on Lilly and Tina.

"I'm going to kill them," I heard her murmur.

I reached out and gave her shoulders a light shake. "Mia," I said. "It doesn't _matter. _What matters is that I meant what I wrote. And I thought you did, too." I could feel my heart practically pounding out of my chest, it was that hard.

"Of course I did." 

"Then why did you freak out like that today during the Carnival?"

"Well, because…because…I thought…I thought you were making fun of me," Mia stammered.

"Never." 

And that's when I did it.

I leaned down and kissed her lips.

And she kissed back.

We spent the rest of the night slow dancing, until Lilly came up and said, "Come on you guys, it's snowing so hard, if we don't leave now, we'll never get home."

And then we kissed good night on her stoop, even doing a bit of kissing of the French variety.

With Lars complaining that he was getting cold.

And now, Mia's on a plane and I won't see her until the end of winter break.

It doesn't really matter though. 

It's as if everything is absolutely perfect.

And it is.

It really is.

***

****

A/N: I honestly loved writing through Michael's point-of-view. The story is over and I will soon have a new story (well, one-shot fic) up by tomorrow (it'll be called _You. Yes. You._). Please review and maybe you could give me ideas for my next story. He he.


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